NFL Catchup
Well kids, it's been a while since I've been able to sit at my computer and not have it shut off on me after 7 minutes, so I'm warning you: I may wander in and out of this one. While I'm working on something a bit more in depth, this one will be a quick hitter.
The Buffalo Bills are 2-0. You know want to know what the worst thing about living in western New York is? A Bills team that starts 2-0.
Every freakin' Bills fan I see can't wait to tell me how this is the year they turn things around. Let's recap, shall we:
1. The Bills slaughtered the Chiefs in Week 1. The Chiefs are one of those team that if you didn't know better, you'd swear they were going to take the next step. But you're on this blog, so you know better and therefore you know that there is no way that the Chiefs were going to trend up this year.
The Chiefs will be the Texans for the next two or three years, barring Todd Haley getting fired: everyone will swear this is the year they make a move, only to go 7-9 and leave everyone shaking their hands.
So tip your cap to the Bills for demolishing the Chiefs, just don't crown them yet.
And B. You beat the Raiders. You needed the full sixty minutes to beat the Raiders and you waited a half until finally figuring out that vaunted Raiders defense.
A win is a win, just hold up making those reservations for Indy there flipper, ok? Oh, yeah, you have Tom Brady to deal with this week. We'll find out a little more this week.
And speaking of trying to figure out just what is what, how 'bout the Bears laying a goose egg in New Orleans?
It must be some annual tradition in Mike Martz's family to kiss your colon in the month of September. I mean, I know playcalling is a lot of 'in the moment' decisions but ten carries for Matt Forte the entire game? Ten? I'm pretty sure you can lock a gang of chimps in a room and tell them to bring out a banana for a run play or an orange for a pass and you'll get more than ten runs a game.
I swear there's a conspiracy a la "Major League" and Martz is in on it.
How bad is it getting? Quarterback Jay Cutler was asked if he could last a whole season getting hit the way he does. How does he answer? He- and I'm not shitting you- KNOCKS ON WOOD. Let that one wash over you. The quarterback now wholeheartedly believes that there will be no respite from the matador blocking scheme employed by Lovie and crew.
This is exactly what happened before the bye week last year, so I ask you this: when you wake up every morning and go to your jobs in hopes of making an honest wage- how many times can you ignore your boss before you're fired?
Just sayin'.
NFL one-liners:
Hey, that Cam Newton kid sure can throw, huh?
If there's a team in the NFL that can fake injuries, it would be the Giants. They've seen enough of the real ones to know how to sell it.
DeAngelo Hall says he's going to target Romo's ribs and everyone gasps. Please. If you thought there was a player on that field that isn't going to try to take a shot at Romo's ribs your more delusional than Martz.
The Jaguars have decided to give rookie quarterback Blaine Gabbert his shot. I guess a 59-yard performance from your starting quarterback who you released 44-42 David Garrard for makes you kinda have to.
Plaxico Burress says he's adjusting to lesser playing time than he's used to. He's also adjusting to not have to sleep on his back for safety reasons.
Matthew Stafford is the only quarterback to not be sacked this year. That explains why he's still healthy.
Andy Dalton may not be lighting the world on fire, but he sure isn't making people beg for Carson Palmer.
I said before that the Chiefs are the new Texans. The Falcons are the new Chargers. That's right, I said it.
The Chiefs have been outscored by 79 points in their first two games. This week they play San Diego. Have you seen their schedule? How much you wanna bet Haley's gone by Christmas?
Who's leading the league in point differential, you ask? The Detroit Lions at +52. If the Chiefs had the Lions offense, they'd still be outscored by 27.
Week 3 Picks:
Houston at New Orleans
NY Giants at Philadelphia
Jacksonville at Carolina
New England at Buffalo
Miami at Cleveland
San Francisco at Cincinnati
Denver at Tennessee
Detroit at Minnesota
Baltimore at St. Louis
NY Jets at Oakland
Kansas City at San Diego
Arizona at Seattle
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Green Bay at Chicago
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis
Washington at Dallas
Categories: NFL
Tags: NFL Bills Bears chiefs texans raiders Saints Panthers Newton Giants redskins Cowboys jets lions bengals falcons chargers Eagles Jaguars patriots dolphins Vikings steelers ravens rams Buccaneers Packers
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