Top 5 Athletes
This is not your father's top 5 list. In the wake of the Brandon Marshall fiasco in Denver, I thought I'd comprise my list of the top 5 professional athletes in the last 20 years that desperately needed their teammates to take a bar of soap to their midsections in their sleep, much like Private Pyle in the film "Full Metal Jacket".
So here goes, in no particular order:
#1.) Ron Artest- "Malice in the Palace". He leaves the court and proceeds to fight fans for being too mean and calling him "Fart-est". OK, so I made that last part up. But this absolutely destroyed the Indiana Pacers, and I have yet to see any signs of recovery. Sure there were other issues, but they just haven't been able to put it all together since this fracas, and therefore, entry #1 goes to my new BFF in purple and gold, Ron Artest.
#2.) Terrell Owens- I could probably get away with just writing "generally speaking", and no one would call me on it. But instead I'll be nit-picky and say this applies to the Philadelphia Eagles version of T.O. He should have just shut up and played football and he probably would have had a Super Bowl ring by now. Instead, he couldn't get out of his own way and left the Iggles with no other choice but to relieve themselves of him. They should have relieved themselves ON him.
#3.) J.D. Drew- Drafted by the Philadelphia Phillies, he wasn't really keen on playing for them so he held out and re-entered the draft pool and came up with St. Louis. He's won a World Series ring, as have the Philies so this example isn't as bad as the others since both parties have done just fine. I just think that any human being should be thankful to have a shot, sign on the dotted line, and then build up their bargaining power. You hearin' me Mr. Crabtree?
#4.) Latrell Spreewell- Turning down a multi-million dollar contract offer because he "had kids to feed" was enough to set me off, but to have him go into forclosure on multiple pieces of property tells me someone should have set him straight the hard way. Is PJ available?
#5.) Brandon Marshall- We know you're unhappy. We don't care. Shut up and play the game millions would love to be able to. The fact that he was dogging it, should make him #1 if I was actually ranking this list. The fact that no other players on the team actually did what I'm suggesting makes me think maybe I know all I need to know about the Broncos this year.
So here goes, in no particular order:
#1.) Ron Artest- "Malice in the Palace". He leaves the court and proceeds to fight fans for being too mean and calling him "Fart-est". OK, so I made that last part up. But this absolutely destroyed the Indiana Pacers, and I have yet to see any signs of recovery. Sure there were other issues, but they just haven't been able to put it all together since this fracas, and therefore, entry #1 goes to my new BFF in purple and gold, Ron Artest.
#2.) Terrell Owens- I could probably get away with just writing "generally speaking", and no one would call me on it. But instead I'll be nit-picky and say this applies to the Philadelphia Eagles version of T.O. He should have just shut up and played football and he probably would have had a Super Bowl ring by now. Instead, he couldn't get out of his own way and left the Iggles with no other choice but to relieve themselves of him. They should have relieved themselves ON him.
#3.) J.D. Drew- Drafted by the Philadelphia Phillies, he wasn't really keen on playing for them so he held out and re-entered the draft pool and came up with St. Louis. He's won a World Series ring, as have the Philies so this example isn't as bad as the others since both parties have done just fine. I just think that any human being should be thankful to have a shot, sign on the dotted line, and then build up their bargaining power. You hearin' me Mr. Crabtree?
#4.) Latrell Spreewell- Turning down a multi-million dollar contract offer because he "had kids to feed" was enough to set me off, but to have him go into forclosure on multiple pieces of property tells me someone should have set him straight the hard way. Is PJ available?
#5.) Brandon Marshall- We know you're unhappy. We don't care. Shut up and play the game millions would love to be able to. The fact that he was dogging it, should make him #1 if I was actually ranking this list. The fact that no other players on the team actually did what I'm suggesting makes me think maybe I know all I need to know about the Broncos this year.
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